Fail of the Titans

Fail of the Titans

Wrath of the Titans Review

Where to begin on this train wreck.

Don't worry, she's never actually in danger

I suppose I shouldn’t really call it a disappointment after the original Crap of the Titans assaulted audiences’ eyes for 2 or so hours. I did however have a glimmer of hope that the sequel might have learned from its mistakes but no, no it doesn’t.

It’s just really boring! Honestly I’ve never seen a film that looked so good and had so much potential bore me to death like this. There was no character development, no attachment, no relatable characters, no likeable characters and the ‘final boss’ sucked harder than the new range of Dyson hoovers. Was Perseus supposed to be a deep, complex but ultimately likeable young man? No. He kills his brother without any attempt of reconciliation or even final words.

It was all completely underwhelming, with never a sense of danger or urgency. Throughout the movie Kronos is hyped as being the ultimate destroyer but when he appears no one really seems phased and he’s easily and routinely defeated by Perseus throwing a stick in his mouth. In fact it never looks like he’s going to fail, nor does it even seem a big deal to him or any of the army. Even the maze of a million possibilities was easily dealt with by the three randomers who had never seen it before.

 It was just endless action and it was impossible to keep up with. The cameraman must have been on Prozac the way he was jumping about and the editor needs to have a long hard think about his career choice because I was constantly left wondering how they escaped something or how they got to the other side of the set. I was lucky that I seen this in 2D, because there’s no way my eyes could have coped with all the crazy cuts in 3D.

New elements were brought in but randomly forgot about, such as the horrifically dragged out maze sequence, where Andromeda sees a woman for a second…. never to be seen again. Or the ‘love’ story. The characters barely ever speak throughout the film or even look at each other and then randomly they kiss at the end?! That’s not a love story, that’s an afterthought and one bad enough to rival M. Night Shyamalalalalalam’s masterpiece The Last Airbender.

Bill Nighy: People still take me seriously, ya see

Ok so it wasn’t all bad….

Visually it was nice. The CGI was very good for the most part, ignoring the giant cyclops of course and the authentic desert settings looked really great. In fact the early fight sequences were pretty great and the camera moved right, Sam Worthington moved right and the fire breathing dragon looked menacing enough.

Ignoring Rosamund ‘emotionless’ Pike, the annoying kid and Bill Nighy in yet another eccentric role, the acting all round’s good. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes didn’t disappoint, with their relationship being far more interesting than anything else in the movie and they deliver solid performances as Zeus and Hades. Sam Worthington’s not bad at all, but the script was so poor he didn’t have enough chances to get into his role.

Best thing about it: Getting my hopes up with the nice battle with the two headed dragon

Worst thing: The rest of the movie

Overall: 1.7/5

Jonathon Liebesman better buck up his ideas before taking on Ninja Turtles